Imagine a person suggests an idea that you may not necessarily agree with.  What is your natural reaction?  It most likely will be ‘the problem with that is,’ or ‘that won’t work because,’ or some other similar phrase. And then what happens?  An argument starts to take place and a ‘battle’ begins.  And what is the typical outcome of a battle?  There is a winner and there is a loser.  Or maybe there are two losers.  Instead of fostering an environment of respect with active listening and constructive dialogue, we enter a situation where emotions, judgment, and destructive behavior may become the norm.  Why?  Because each person has been conditioned to ‘win.’  But will there really be a winner? 

Here are some potential outcomes…
Disrespect
A lack of listening
A combative culture
Lack of trust and mutual respect
Heated emotions
Possible long term anger and resentment
AN IDEA NOT EVEN BEING CONSIDERED!

This is winning?!  Why the need to ‘win’ every time?  Why can’t we just let people share their ideas?  Why can’t we just let go of control and see what happens?  So often what started out as sharing an idea becomes a confrontation. 

Think of any show on CNN, Fox News, or MSNBC that centers around people with different views talking about a topic.  If you think about it, these shows are just like the Jerry Springer Show, except that instead of throwing chairs the people just throw negative reactions and inflammatory statements at each other.  I always get a kick out of the fact that most of us scoff at the Jerry Springer Show and then tune in each evening to watch people with opposing views scream, yell, and argue. 

Check out this link on YouTube.com to see this behavior in action.  Bill O'Reilly and Geraldo Rivera go toe to toe on the O'Reilly Factor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLPuGuaZTx8

Here’s what you can do:
1. Catch yourself in the act.  When you feel yourself having to be ‘right' and your emotions escalating, stop and LISTEN. 
2. Create visual and fun cues in your office place to diffuse these situations so know that they are acting this way.  This behavior is so hardwired into each of us in can often be difficult to realize we ‘fighting’ not having a conversation.  I use squeaky hammers and animal noises…it works!
3. Stay calm and let the other person talk more.  Behaviors often mirror behaviors.  If you stay calm and listen, then there is a better chance the other person will stay calm and listen.

The bottom line is NO ONE has all the answers and NO ONE is always right.  Listening and respecting ideas may not be good for ratings, but is one of the keys to innovation.